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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

08.06.2025 00:11

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

Why do people keep saying they have evidence and have presented it that proves you're wrong even though they have none and haven't presented anything? Furthermore, what do they think you're wrong about?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By taking turns talking.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

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By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.